Sometimes there are paintings that refuse to be finished. You think they are ready, you don't want to work on them any more, you put the paintbrushes down and say "Done! It's over!". But there is this nagging feeling and you know, even if you don't want to admit it, that the work is not done yet.
"Solo te conocà en mis sueños" ("I only met you in my dreams") is one of of THOSE paintings. It has a strange story - I had had the image of a child sleeping on a swan come to me at least a year ago, but just wrote it down, as it didn't seem like the right time to paint or draw it. In the end of January, while meditating, I felt called to paint this image, although when I started, I thought it was going to mean something else. Just a strange thought came to me - the swan, a holy bird - in the Finnish mythology is connected to death. I brushed the thought away, until a couple of days later, with the miscarriage, I understood why the association came at that moment.
The first version of this painting in February was quite different than this final version. The swan's wings were in a different position, it seemed too immobile. And the background was greyish blue fog. The painting did bring me consolation, but I knew it wasn't ready. But I couldn't bring myself to work on it more.
In April, I finally could take the paintbrushes again, and starting with the wings, finish the work. Stars and Milky Way appeared too. This painting couldn't be ready until I was.